Manure. Oh Dear Lord

Well, here I am again. Half an hour in at Old Trafford, two goals down, Arsene shaking his head, Ramsey absent from his post, Walcott leaving Bellerin exposed time and again, Sanchez giving it away and, above all,  NO THREAT !

As the first goal went in I had just observed that the midfield for Arsenal was drifting into obscurity, led by Theo, encouraged by Ramsey, and huge holes were appearing in front of the back five. Hardly had the words left my lips when United strolled through the empty park and scored. And again.

If you have digested my earlier posts you will know what I think of Ramsey and his indiscipline. When he is having a purple patch it is bearable. When, as now, he cannot hit a barn door and forgets which shirt colour we are wearing, it is inexcusable. He is a prime example of being picked because of running statistics, because he is so awful in actual footballing performance that nobody sane could pick him. Arsene is apparently so sane that he earns £7.5 million + per year!

Almost unnoticed, even by the commentators,  Welbeck slips between two Manure defenders to guide a header past De Gea. Ozil has teased another low, flat kick into the mix and Manure declined en-masse to deal with it, the so-sharp looking Wellbeck again obliges.

How we can win this now, given the lifeline, Depends on how Wenger reacts at half time. Another ‘just keep going as we are Mes Braves’ and we will not win or draw. Changes please Arsene.
The second half, United drop deeper, protecting a lead and happy to copy Barca and counter-attack. The game slows, Arsenal stutter with the tempo, misplacing passes. Theo moves to the left, Mata follows him and continues the torment. Most clubs have the measure of Theo’s woosing out.

Giroud comes on for Theo.

As per script, Manure score on the counter. We attack, Manure run down to the other end, pass to the unmarked Herrera following in on the edge of the box, Koscielny guides the shot past Cech with his chest. A classic. Arsene shouts. I have no idea where Ramsey was, Coquelin was at his post and tried hard.

Almost beyond believability, we score again when Ozil completely Mishima a shot which bounces over De Gea !

Elneny replaces Coquelin. Not sure why him.

Ramsey hits somebody, Ref jumps in, melee of players. Thankfully, replays show Ramsey missed.

The game settles again, we misplace a plethora of passes, people getting played into hopeless situations and so on, at 78 minutes it is really hard to call who will score next. Giroud rises and is not close, but dominant. Manure take the 18 year old double scorer off, but keep the attacking balance with Januciek. Arsenal attack again and get a corner, the weight of attack is with us, but Ozil, as ever these days, fails to clear the first man, and again with the rebound and Manure counter-attack. The game stops and Welbeck, Ho has been sharp and aggressive, is replaced by Iwobi.

5 minutes of regular left and we attack an Ozil free kick, But Koscielny can’t get power into a well directed header. Sanchez attacks, but his touch is just not with him at the moment, and him getting the ball al out guarantees possession for Manure. Unfortunately Sanchez then gets involved in some comedy Manure time wasting and farce ensues. Sanchez then breaks down the left and can’t clear the first man. This is going to the wire, but only in terms of possession pressure. Our attacks fizzle out.

Ozil fouls somebody. That wastes some time – normally I would stand and applaud – oh hang on, it’s our time ! Wanker.

And there is the final whistle – 3-2 to Manure. I cannot recall a single Arsenal shot with the boot that reached the Manure goal except Ozil’s bouncing bomb. In fact, I cannot think of a shot really, never mind the goal.

Here is a thought Arsene – tell them to FUCKING KICK THE THING !

Arsenal 0 Barcelona 2 : Threat? What threat?

The Great Producer in the Sky should sit back with a satisfied smile draw on a Havana and sip his interval champagne.

The whole production ran exactly to script, a tragedy interlaced with bitter comedy, the serial victims haplessly hunting down their next mugger.

No other team has ever boasted a forward line like Saurez, Neymar and Messi. So it is surely no disgrace to be beaten by them?  Of course it is not, they pose an individual and collective threat unparalleled in modern football. In contrast, the same positions were filled for Arsenal by Giroud and er, um, perm any two from Ozil, Sanchez, Oxlade-Chamberlain,  Ramsey. Who individually and collectively can pose a lack of threat unparalleled in modern football.

Hang on a minute there – wasn’t Ramsey selected as one of the ‘holding midfield players’, what is he doing in with that lot? Well, yes, he was, but nobody ever seems to think to tell him what that actually means and he is normally to be found galloping  frantically back towards his own goal from the opposing penalty box, overtaking centre forward Giroud, hence his much-heralded, prodigious yet in reality under-productive ‘mileage’ every match. More of that to follow.

The first 45 minutes were quite a surprise. Arsenal compact in defence, terrier-like in challenge, hunting in packs across the midfield, breaking well, Arsene surely content at the execution of the battle plan as he cradled his half-time cuppa, despite two ominous chances to Barca on 46 minutes following woeful misplacement of a Hollywood pass by Ramsey (which was intended for a clearly lame and limping Ox !)

Regrettably, the two bigger chances to grab a lead had fallen to the same woefully out of form and confidence Oxlade-Chamberlain, (a dubious selection over the woefully out of form Walcott and the woefully out of his depth Campbell), the first on twenty minutes when he found himself centre of goal, ball at his feet and managed only a pathetic scuffed fluff of a shot into the arms of keeper with the whole goal at his mercy. The second, late on in the half, where his poor third touch, when clear on the right flank resulted in a loss of control, a collision, an injury and arms raised in despair from Ozil and Giroud, both centre stage and clear to his left.

Threat ? Well, not one shot flew fiercely towards the Barca goal, there had not been a hint of venom or aggression in the execution of the ‘finishing’. No save had been made, other than a grateful gathering of Ox’s scuffed effort.Petr Cech had been more active.
The Second Act, as with all good comic-tragedies, started with a comic thread. Oxlade-Chamberlain, felled when mis-controlling towards the end of the first half and having limped gratefully and painfully to the dressing room, then, to the amazement of most, limped back out again, walked painfully around for several minutes, dropped to one knee and waved, and Theo eventually organised himself and replaced him. The Ox walked slowly off looking a confused, defeated young man. There is much to do before he  can be considered a contender again, if ever. Time to cash in, Arsene.

What ? Is our Physio so inept he cannot diagnose a crippled player in 15 minutes in the dressing room? Let’s bring in match pundit Jack Wilshere for a comment on that one. Is Arsene so unhappy with Walcott and Campbell that he only sees them as a last resort ?

Something about the game has changed, perhaps a slight Barca tweak, I cannot spot what, but we are not containing them quite so well, the game is a bit less controlled, their attacks a tad more direct.

Theo receives a nice pass, but the excitement is swiftly quashed as it transpires to be an instance of his now trademark offside positioning and timing. It is the last threat that he poses in a dire performance.

In the 59 th minute a period of pressure resulted in a fine effort from Giroud thwarted by a good save by   at the foot of his right post. On 64 mins the ball flies around the Barca box, the defence holds firm in response, the game is opening and still Arsenal are a more than equal participant.
70 minutes, still we press well but without any real direct threat and from a cross from right winger Bellerin, three passes and left winger Neymar, runs at the right full-back Mertesacker, slips Saurez clear to slip the ball past centre-half Monreal and Messi, completely unmarked on the right, scores. Simples.

The previous statement contains several incorrect statements – identify and discuss.

Mugged again. Borrusia, Monaco, Olympiakos, so many occasions. The BT pundit slows it down and pronounces ‘look at Ramsey and Coquelin – both in front of the ball – they should not leave Mertesacker exposed like that ‘. Of course they bloody shouldn’t  !  Our effing great big German has every right to be seething, as he clearly was post-match, because once again, the boss had given the holding midfield role to a player too undisciplined to execute it and another not experienced enough at this level to read the the danger.

The discipline starts to slip, Saurez hits a post, Sanchez displays his trademark goal-facing dispossessions, Ozil disappears, Ramsey fails to convert a half-chance – the ball falling to him these days just about guarantees that the goalie pulling a muscle taking the goal kick will be our only chance of any gain from it.

The final lunacy comes from our Arsene, when for reasons quite inexplicable, he brings Flamini on for Coquelin. A totally pointless substitution. Within 45 seconds Flamini trips Messi, the penalty flies straight and true.
Game Over. No hiding Arsene, the players make the errors of judgement, sure. But they have made them before over, and over, and over again.

Over to you Arsene.

Arsenal’s lack of threat is spawned on the training ground?

After a long season or more of frustration at Arsenal’s periods in the match where no threat at all is offered to the opposing goal, I decided to stop just berating the out of form player(s) of the day and settle down with the pause button and log my thoughts during the Leicester match,mad they happened.

I have long moaned about Arsene’s indifference to the effect of removing our main threats 15 minutes from the end and replacing them with moderate defenders, which came to a head against Bournemouth when Sanchez was taken off and replaced with Gibbs, with Walcott on the bench. Two Bournemouth players immediately bore down on our goal in support of their thankfully moderate forwards, with Gibbs, agin, poor lad, looking like a lost soul. He does not fit in well in left midfield.

Anyway, on to the match, and we start with all guns blazing. In the first and second minute, the Ox crossed and nobody contacted, then Sanchez headed the corner just wide, Leicester are reeling. 90 seconds later we gain a free kick half way into the the Leicester half, not too wide, a good position to press men in again on a shaking defence. So what happens ?Nothing. The ball is immediately passed  back into the back four, in their own half. Backwards and forwards, onto the constantly over-populated left touch line. Result? No threat, no forward move, nothing. It could have been swung in to the box, like real football. Like the others do to us.

In the 12th minute a passable penalty shout for handball. Then a short corner doesn’t even make the Leicester box.(Ox)

As a result, Leicester slowly start to attack, and come close with Okazaki and Vardy forcing a great save from Cech. Our momentum checked, gone already. Is it really gone already?

Ozil is offside, half a metre, good effort, doesn’t beat the keeper though.

20th, great run from the Ox, but Giroud crowded by two prevented from scoring.

21st, an entire series of suicidal passes on the left of our box. Somebody put a boot through it and re group ! That is school year logic Arsene, you don’t need £7 million a year to teach that.

24th, great effort, the Ox plays a big part, better today. Corner. Well taken by the Ox, at last we clear the first man, Giroud rises but it’s over, he was blocked well by Huth.

Ozil puts us under huge pressure with a misplaced back heel. Again, schoolboy error. Ban it in our own half please.mremener Cesc against Barcelona?

Poor clearance from Meertesacker, poor run with the ball from Sanchez, where is the calmness, the thought?

Disallowed Giroud goal, just offside, very close. Came out of the blue from a ball into the box. Where the goal is.

Period of play on the left 33 mins, which could have switched to the right, but because Ozil and Sanchez were there, it went back to the left, then nowhere.

35 mins, Coquelin booked bailing Ozil out for a pointless clockwork mouse dribble, when surrounded, and as usual loses it facing his own goal.

Great save by Cech after Sanchez tries a trick to many. Creating our own pressure again. Comedy of errors clearing the corner, Ozil gets lucky to get a throw when losing control of the ball.

Good move again through the Ox, he is greatly improved today.

Leicester defender under threat puts the ball in row z. Are you watching Koscielny? Bellerin?

Joke Penalty after a joke decision at the other end. Referee conned both times and should be taken off anything but mid-table matches.

46 mins Ramsey booked for a tackle on a man going nowhere. Pointless pressure on him now.

Half Time

Callum Chambers on for Koscielny. That will be the end of that I fear.

Ramsey, as usual, shoots wide in the first minute back after another handball turned down by referee Atkinson.

46th minute, an Arsenal free kick goes back to Cech from the halfway line.

Atkinson finally books Danny Simpson for hacking Sanchez down.

49 mins, penalty shout by Mahrez who goes down untouched. Or it looks that way at first viewing.

Great move which ends with Ozil just failing to stay onside, or indeed score.

51 mins Giroud heads over for a great Monteal cross after brilliant possession play by Sanchez

Simpson off ! One stupid foul too many, fully deserved. No gain from the left sided free kick.

Atkinson screws up by not allowing a quick free kick but books Konte.

58 mins Sanchez misses after a period of messy pressure – typified by Ozil not knowing he is about to be tackled from behind, do they talk to each other ?

59 mins Walcott on !! Has Arsene lost his watch ?  Coquelin off, good move, red mist had descended and we have a good grip, so Theo’s panic in the face of being tackled shouldn’t matter.

All Arsenal, but no nouse, all ineffective.

Quiet period, attacks fizzling out, loads of room in the middle of the pitch as Leicester drop even deeper. Schmeicel heading for a sending off, very aggressive. Ozil doesn’t seem to be able to get the ball past the first man at corners anymore.

GOAL – Theo – and he fully deserved it for the great run inside which started the move by leaving Bellerin totally unmarked.

Dreadful foul by Drinkwater on Ramsey. Potential leg-breaker. Nothing given. Pathetic referee.

73 mins. Great attack, lots happens, then, not surprisingly Ramsey shoots wide.

75 mins.mSanchez shoots wide.badly

More possession, a Vardy counter, but nothing direct from Arsenal. Walcott is a big difference when he gets in the play, but  the emphasis is with Sanchez and Ozil When we shape the ball forward. Sanchez misses aagin, off balance, scuffs it.

Ramsey shoots wide. Further out and closer to the target this time though.

81 mins Ozil wimps out again and puts us under pressure. Sanchez makes a mess of a forward run – how can such a great player just run into people so, so often?

Weak Giroud header following the 82 minute introduction of Welbeck for the Ox, who had a much better game today and for me should have been behind Ozil and Sanchez in going off. 

Meertesacker just misses with a guided header, which Schmeikel had covered as it had no pace.

Welbeck falls over and misses, being held, but only run of the game stuff, not a blatant foul.

86 mins Fabulous Scmeikel save from Giroud. Then Giroud heads into his arms 20 seconds later. 

88 mins Ramsey shoots dreadfully wide. Are we getting a pattern here at last?

Walcott misses, Sanchez to Giroud move down the left and cross to Walcott that sets it up

Welbeck and Giroud miss a header, should have been a corner as Huth got a touch

4 mins extra time. 

Sanchez runs straight into a defender for the fiftieth time.

Ozil doesn’t clear the first man again from a corner. Pathetic.

Poor foul but Leicester, just a booking.

The kitchen sink being thrown now, 4 strikers on has made the attacks look a bit more incisive. We do have some threat now and Leicester are tiring more by the second.

GOALLLLAZZZZZZO – Danny Welbeck with a glancing header into Schmeikels far post, a beauty, Ozil finally clears the front man with a free kick !

Well, that was hard work. So insipid in front of goal, never does somebody put their laces through the ball, the crowd never anymore get the excitement of seeing a shot fizz narrowly over or past. Hardly ever is there a long OOOoooh as a long range efforts arrows towards the top corner. But we won. We got there at the very last gasp. Let’s celebrate the lively and sharp-looking Welbeck before he too sinks in the quagmire of self-doubt and indecision !